Bill Teale – theAIDSmemorial Post

“AIDS the early years: The diagnosis nobody wanted — As I look back I can remember that day so vividly.  I had taken the day off from work I was working in Town Hall in the clothing shop at the time, even though I’d lost many friends I was still negative.  My partner Bill Teale (RIP) had, as it turns out not been as monogamous as I would have thought, as it transpires I certainly had not had sex with anybody else for three years I’d been with him.  I was in love, so I knew I was fine, I thought. Gary Greenfield had now passed away and it was time for a routine check up at the clinic I’d had bloods taken two weeks previous and then contacted to come for another test the following week.  Here now I sat at the back of the waiting room on my own waiting to see the doctor.  One by one the nurses I knew extremely well in the clinic were also the same nurses that had been nursing my friends that are so desperately ill, on the now infamous ward 17 south .. the ward of death.One thing that struck me as I sat there was nobody would speak to me.  On reflection I had been looking for their reassurance and I sat there very lonely, waiting and waiting the people came and went.  I was surrounded by death and no one would speak to me. So I sat and waited some more.  Eventually I was taken to the consulting room still no one would look me in the eye.  I thought that was strange was but I was not worried.  Eventually the doctor came in and sat down with me.  I knew him. Then Gary’s social worker turned up and she didn’t speak — just appeared at the door. Looking back this was like a well planned military operation. The doctor looked at me and said,“David we have good news and bad news.” “Ok hit me with it.”Nothing could be that bad. I’ve not been sleeping around. I only had a really bad flu a few weeks ago (and it was bad I couldn’t get out of bed).“Well your hepatitis results are all clear.”I felt a wave of fear suddenly grip me, if that was the good news well brace yourself.“David I’m sorry to tell you but you have the AIDS virus.”He looked at me as I sat blankly staring out. Numb from what had just been said.“Are you ok.” I was asked.I replied. “Yes, I’m great.”“Are there any questions you would like to ask?”“No thank you.” I replied. “I have been closer to the coalface than most  this point, I know what is in store , I just want to go.”I stood up. I felt trapped. By now my instinct was to just run, run and never look back.The door opened and it was Gary’s social worker she said, “Are you ok David?” She put her hand on my arm. That was it.  I let go to in one almighty crash. I was a  blubbering mess, surely this wasn’t happening to me.  I hadn’t slept around this was a mistake ... no it wasn’t.The social worker took me to a small room for counselling and I cried, tears flowed down my cheeks and I had this overwhelming feelin to escape and just like that I snapped out of it composed my self and stood up. “I have to go,” I said, “I’m fine,” and with that I walked out into the world in what was the start of my journey of HIV and one of the most terrifying times anyone let alone a 27 year old man could face alone at that point.I walked home conscious I had to go to work up Darlinghurst Road into Oxford Street passed people who were gravely ill in the street , it was and did become common place back then to do so ... here one minute ... gone the  next , I turned into Bourke Street I lived in the infamous gay ghetto and Figtree Gardens was an enclave now of the sick and the dying.I made THAT phone call as soon as I got home mobiles were not yet invented. “Hi Mum,” I said, “All good,” (Mum knew where I was going and what for) “I’m ok I’m in a hurry I gotta get to work, I’ll speak to you later,” and then it happened “David you are not ok I can tell by your voice what’s wrong?”It was not the easiest way to break the news to my mother, the last two hours were now a blur.  Did I walk home? I don’t remember that walk, really just the thought how would I tell Mum let alone Dad. So I pleaded with my Mum not to tell Dad.  I was terrified of being disowned as many if my friends had been by their family and friends.” 📖 by David Calbert